Angry · words

Devil talons

It takes moments to loose something precious
It took me seconds to lose my innocence
It took an adult knowing what they were doing to rob me of a childhood
Palms clammy
Heart a flutter
Mind going numb
I stood like everyone else
Hands on the wall, still, and hoped none of my friends would mouth back
When you’re black, doing anything human in this part cold get you killed
Because it’s wrong, in the the eyes of the law
Like any day, that day was like any other,
It’s compton, my hometown, a place you love but fear equally
I hated being human and having to be subjected to routines that reduced us to beings lower than everyone else
The profiling
The underhanded handling
But the worst is when a grown man uses his power that he’s been abusing since he got his badge
Decided to take it further
Knowing you’re a girl,
A man who prbably has daughters of his own, probably the same age as me, touches your chest a little longer
A man who knows at that age, in such a delicate situation where my friends were there couldn’t help, let his hands linger too long between my legs
A man who would go to the ends of the earth if he found out another of his age had watched his daughter cry, helpless as he did what he wanted, as others watched
It takes seconds to loose something you should be allowed to decide when to part with
But in a place like this where life is stacked against you
At times you lose more than just what you can fight for to get back
Even now as a grown woman, I can still feel those thick talons
Even now while I close my eyes to banish the image, I can feel how unworthy I feel
Even as I channel the inner voice for courage, I know I can’t look at the man who loves me so much without figting to flinch
The shrapnel embedded in my mind by an officer, someone sworn to protect who took from me instead
The fear crowding me and chocking when I think I might have a daughter and she might go through the same thing
It takes very little for somethings to be lost forever.

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