abuse · sad · words

Fading purples

I remember when it started
When I knew he’d crossed the line
There was just too much pressure around my neck
His eyes had a different type light when he say mine widen
Something in him feasted on my fear
My mind twisted at the hardness in his eyes
The darkness that had lurked in there wanted out
The bad and dirty that had clung to the sides where he hid them had finally clawed out
I was in uncharted waters where I’d heard stories like this but they were further away because I thought I was careful with life
That night I felt my induction into that hall of pain
Why had I not walked away?
How had I been fooled into walking to the lions doorstep by the fading candle light which now had gone off and left me floundering in the dark once I step at the doorstep? Continue reading “Fading purples”

Love · Romance · sad

Confetti of my heart

You don’t understand my choice
Because you fell in love with me too fast
Where as I took my time
I took my time to study you
To know your likes and dislikes
To learn your body language
To know what made you angry
To know what made you laugh or got you awestruck
To know why you sometimes hide with words when something is too emotional and you don’t want to be hurt
To know how you perceive things
To realise that sometimes you get vague to avoid topics when you get frustrated
By the time I fell for the man on the inside
You were on the way out Continue reading “Confetti of my heart”

Angry · sad · words

Jail bird

The white walls
The silence
The yelling
My fear
My numbness
How did I end up here
And forgotten.

The man at the podium with his hammer thought mw guilty
The twelve people who sat and listened to both sides of stories decided I was guilty
A lof of people thought I was guilty
But I’m not.

At sixteen I was being sex trafficked by a pimp
At sixteen my veins werr being pumped full of drug cocktails
At sixteen I was raped repeatedly on a daily basis
At sixteen they were breaking my will minute by minute. Continue reading “Jail bird”

Angry · sad · words

Deathbed of dreams

There was a time I skipped to school
There was a time I dreamed of finishing school
There was a time I liked walking through the gates
There was a time I loved raising my hand in class to answer a question

But now I cower in the corner
With classmates a year younger than I
Afraid and ashamed of the words other people utter
I sit at the back, throat clogged with lead heavy words Continue reading “Deathbed of dreams”

Love · Romance · sad · words

Talks under the stars

Will you lie with me under the dark canvas glittering over us
While I beguile you with my words
Give you hopes and dreams I won’t follow through with
Will you give me your precious time
To let ourselves get lost in the moment and I disappear on you soon after,
Gone with the wind
I’ve pulled you in with my half truths Continue reading “Talks under the stars”

Love · sad · words

Puff promises

Its all empty
The rooms
The space
The hearts
But mostly its her soul
They revolve in and out
Each suckling at the remnants of the little the last left
Every new one comes with promises
Filled with hope and determined to dull her shine through lies
The walls around her drip with her dying hopes
The smoke staining the walls all she has to remember them
Breaking as the boots stomp the front as they run once she gets attached
She never gave up on love Continue reading “Puff promises”